Sometimes I wonder if I’m crazy because of the things I want out of life. It’s like I want pieces of certain things, but not the whole pie. For example, I’d love to walk down the aisle to “Diamonds and Pearls” by Prince, but I don’t want to get married.  The older I get the more I’d prefer the attention of a man instead of a real relationship. I avoid seeking the attention because I don’t want to hurt anyone. I’ve never been the type to brag about being a heart breaker. I think people who find it amusing to be a heart breaker have some serious issues that need to be dealt with, or they haven’t had someone break theirs yet. I have, and it sucks.

Also it seems like these past couple of years has given me really bad baby fever. I guess because when I was in HS, I saw myself being a mom by 25.  I just had to go off to college though. I’ll be 24 this December so I’m hoping to have my 1st child by 30 even though I don’t see a relationship in the future. Am I crazy? I didn’t grow up in a nuclear family so that’s not a priority in life. I think that I think this way because I’ve have experience with helping to raise children. I know that I can be a good parent, but I don’t want to get that close to a man. Call me jaded, but it is what it is.

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